Separation anxiety disorder is one of the most common anxiety disorders in children, accounting for nearly half of referrals for anxiety-based mental health treatment. It’s fairly typical for younger children to experience separation anxiety to some extent. For infants and young toddlers, it’s even considered a normal stage of development. However, when it comes to older children, adolescents and teenagers, separation anxiety can become a serious condition.

Separation anxiety disorder is when a person experiences fear of being away from their parents, caregivers or home in a way that is disproportionate to the actual event. If your teen’s separation anxiety seems severe or lasts longer than it should once they get to the event (such as school or a friend’s house), they may have separation anxiety disorder.

Signs of separation anxiety

Most people who have to go into a new situation, especially children, will be a little nervous about it at first. But if severe nervousness or anxiety about going somewhere without their caregiver lingers, a person might have separation anxiety disorder. Here are a few common signs and symptoms of separation anxiety disorder that your teen may exhibit:

• Resisting going to school, camp or friends’ houses without a caregiver there
• Having trouble falling asleep alone at night
• Having repeated nightmares about separation from loved ones
• Following caregivers around the house during the day
• Experiencing physical complaints such as stomachaches, headaches or back pain in relation to anxiety 
• Having heightened emotions or tantrums signaling distress over going somewhere without a caregiver
• Experiencing distress about anticipating being away from home or loved ones
• Experiencing constant, excessive worry about losing loved ones to illness or disaster
• Refusing to be away from home due to fear of separation
• Being reluctant to sleep away from home without a caregiver or loved ones with them

These symptoms do not automatically mean your teen has separation anxiety disorder. Talk with your teen’s doctor to determine whether these symptoms are being caused by a medical condition, a social stressor such as bullying, or anxiety. Separation anxiety disorder can also be associated with panic disorder and panic attacks, which are sudden, intense feelings of anxiety, fear or terror that can peak within minutes.

With separation anxiety, these negative feelings will appear much more severe than the situation that caused them. For instance, a typical teen may be nervous for their first day of school but feel fine once they’ve arrived. A teen with separation anxiety disorder may feel physically ill or throw a tantrum at the thought of going to school alone. 

Causes of separation anxiety

While there are many factors that come into play in the development of separation anxiety disorder, there isn’t always a known cause. It can be triggered by many things, such as:

• The person’s innate temperament
• Genetics and family history of mental health challenges
• Parental overprotection or overinvolvement
• Parental divorce
• A death in the family
• Other life stressors

You may not know for sure what first triggered your teen’s separation anxiety disorder, but no matter the cause, there are treatments that can help. 

Treatment options for separation anxiety

If you think your teen’s anxiety levels are higher than they should be, seek professional advice as soon as possible. Early diagnosis and treatment of separation anxiety disorder can help reduce symptoms and make it easier to treat in the long run. 

Psychotherapy may be helpful for people with severe separation anxiety disorder. However, there are a number of strategies you can also use as a parent to help your teen with their separation anxiety. Here are a few practical ways to address their fears and help them face their anxieties:

• Don’t avoid triggers — Most people will avoid situations that make them anxious. However, avoiding their triggers won’t help your teen address their anxiety. Help them build up their tolerance to anxiety-inducing situations so they know they can get through them. 

• Make a plan — New situations can be scary, especially if your teen doesn’t know what to expect. For instance, if they’re worried about transitioning to high school, walk through their class schedule with them so they’ll know how their day is supposed to go. This can alleviate anxiety from fear of the unknown.

• Practice positive reframing — Help your teenager think more positively about situations that give them anxiety. For instance, if they’re worried about going to a sleepover, remind them that their friends will be there, and they have a great birthday gift to give. This offers your teen something positive to focus on instead of their fears.

• Find a therapist — If your teen is dealing with separation anxiety disorder, professional help can be beneficial. Treatments such as cognitive behavioral therapy can help your teen recognize anxious thoughts and develop coping skills they can use in anxiety-inducing situations.

Learning how to handle separation anxiety disorder can be challenging, but with the right skills and support, you can help your teenager cope with their fears. At Embrace U, we offer individualized outpatient treatment programs for adolescents aged 10-18 who are experiencing an anxiety disorder. 

Our team offers evidence-based treatments that can help your teen handle their anxiety and live the life they deserve. If your child is dealing with a mental health challenge, contact our team today for more information or to schedule an initial appointment.