Dealing with depression isn’t easy, but it can be even more challenging to try to manage it on your own. It can be helpful to have a support system to help you deal with your symptoms of depression, but if you don’t share that you’re struggling, the people who care about you won’t know that you need help.

Major depressive disorder, or depression, is characterized by overwhelming negative thoughts and emotions. Around 1 in 5 children and teenagers have had at least one depressive episode. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s crucial to ask for help. If your parents know that you’re dealing with depression, they can support you through your symptoms and help you find the therapy and resources you need.

How to talk about your depression

Asking for help with your depression can feel daunting. You may be worried that your parents may be upset or that they won’t understand how much you’re dealing with, but you shouldn’t have to wait until your parents notice you aren’t yourself anymore. If you take the first step and ask for help, you can start on your journey toward better mental health sooner.

• Don’t let shame stop you from asking for help — It can feel uncomfortable to admit you’re struggling with your mental health, but it’s not uncommon. Nearly 1 in 8 people live with some kind of mental health condition. Asking for help with your depression isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign that you know you’re not doing well and you want to get better.

• Choose your moment — Sometimes it’s difficult to know when to bring up a serious topic. While there’s never a perfect time, try to pick a low-key moment when your family members are relaxed and comfortable. This way, it will be easier to discuss your concerns and needs without adding to an emotionally tense situation. 

• Ask for help — Once you’ve shared how you’re feeling, explain why you’re telling them this and ask for their help. Think through what you want to ask them before the conversation so you’re prepared. Here are a few questions that may help you figure out what to say.

• What kind of help are you looking for? One-on-one psychotherapy, group counseling, school therapist, etc.?
• What do you want out of the help you’re seeking? Better coping skills? Help understanding your feelings? Medication to help manage your symptoms?
• How can your parents help you seek this out? Do you want them to help you look for the right therapist? Do you need help figuring out your insurance?

By telling your parents exactly what kind of help you need, you can show them what to do for you, which can also help you get on the same page regarding future treatment.

• Plan out your communication — It can be tricky to find the right words when you’re trying to explain how you feel, so try to make a list of your depression symptoms ahead of time so you can share those with your parents. This way, you won’t forget any important things they need to know about.

• Don’t be afraid to try again — Sometimes, it takes more than one conversation to get the help you need. If you’re worried your parents won’t listen to you, or if your first conversation didn’t go as well as you’d hoped, consider talking to another trusted adult. An aunt, uncle or grandparent whom you’re comfortable with may be a good person to talk to, and they may also be able to advocate for you to your parents. 

Seeking help can be scary, but don’t wait until your depression gets worse. You deserve to have the help and support you need for your mental health challenges.

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or actions, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for immediate support.

Starting the conversation about your depression

It can be scary to take that first step and talk to your parents about your depression. To make it a little easier, here’s a sample script you can use either through text or in a face-to-face conversation:

“I’ve been struggling with my mental health, and I’d like to talk to you about it. I feel very depressed, and I think I need help. I want you to understand what I’m dealing with so you can help me figure out what next steps I should take.”

Explain what symptoms you’re experiencing, what diagnosis you’ve received, or other reasons you need help with depression.

Here are a few ideas for next steps that you and your parents can talk through to see if they might help your depression.

• Finding a therapist to get professional help for your depression
• Figuring out ways your parents can help support you at home as you deal with your depression
• Talking about your symptoms so your parents know what signs to look for if your depression gets work

It can be hard to have these conversations with your parents, but it’s important to get the help you need for your depression. This first conversation can help them understand what you’re dealing with so you can get the resources you need.

Dealing with depression isn’t easy, but you’re not alone. At Embrace U, our team is here to walk alongside you on your mental health journey. We offer multiple levels of outpatient treatment to help people ages 10-18 learn how to manage their conditions better. If you need professional support for your depression beyond your regular therapy sessions, contact our team today for more information or to schedule an initial appointment.