While school avoidance is a behavioral problem, it most often has a root cause in a child’s emotional or social experience. They could be struggling with their work or the busy school environment. Or they may be experiencing trauma or anxiety from something that happened to them at school. Other times, it’s stress in a child’s life that keeps them from fully engaging at school.

School avoidance affects up to 15% of children, according to a systematic review of North American data by a Canadian research team with members from multiple universities. In this article, we’ll discuss what school avoidance is, why some children experience it and how you can help your child overcome their school avoidance.

What is school avoidance?

School avoidance describes a range of behaviors related to refusing to go to school or having difficulty staying in the classroom for the entire day. Children may resist their usual morning routine of getting ready for school, feel physically unwell, cry and act out, or beg to stay home. They may also show symptoms of anxiety, depression or panic related to going to school.

There are many different reasons why adolescents and teens might want to avoid going to school. However, for the individual child, their personal reasons for avoiding school may be hard to articulate. In many cases, anxiety, stress or fear of something bad happening at school are important factors.

Causes and symptoms of school-related anxiety

For children ages 10 to 18, school avoidance is often related to perceptions of not fitting in or anxiety about what will happen at school. High expectations for their academic performance, difficulties with schoolwork and negative perceptions of a teacher can be enough to cause school avoidance. Many children today worry about school shootings, and cyberbullying outside of school hours can make a child want to stay at home. If something bad has already happened to a child at school, they may be experiencing anxiety or trauma symptoms that make being at school very uncomfortable. In some cases, threats of physical harm at school or problems at home, such as parents fighting, contribute to school avoidance.

The following are common symptoms of school avoidance:

• resistance or refusal to get ready for school
• physical symptoms such as headache, upset stomach, diarrhea or dizziness
• intense feelings of anxiety or depression
• panic
• crying or acting out
• seeking safety by going to the nurse’s office or a guidance counselor 

What interventions can help with school avoidance?

The best approach will depend on your child and the reasons for their school avoidance. There may be some practical changes you can make with your child. But you’re not alone in helping them get through this challenge. After you’ve spoken with your child, school staff and teachers or your family pediatrician may be able to help. If you’ve tried a few different strategies and your child is still having a hard time, they may benefit from mental health treatment.

Try these interventions to help your child ease back into the idea of going to school:

1. Make it safe for your child to be honest about what they’re feeling — If your child is afraid of getting in trouble or being invalidated, they won’t be likely to share what’s really going on. Tell them what you’re noticing in neutral terms and ask for their point of view. Let them know you’re on their side and that you want them to help them feel better about going to school. 

2. Talk through their concerns and find practical solutions — Once you know what your child’s concerns are, you can find ways to address them. If other children are involved, your child’s teacher may need to make some changes in the classroom. If your child is dealing with anxiety or discomfort in school settings, you can try working on some self-soothing techniques together. 

3. Insist that they try going back to school — Explain to your child that staying home is not a long-term solution. The law requires them to go to school, and you probably don’t have time to supervise them at home all day. Be kind but firm in the mornings when you’re trying to get them out the door. On days when they do stay home, insist that they do their schoolwork. Don’t give them any special treatment or allow them to do “fun” activities like watching TV or playing video games.

4. Talk with school staff and teachers about your child’s school avoidance — Let your child’s teacher know what’s happening and see if there’s any way they can help. If your child often feels sick, you might talk with the school nurse about encouraging them to go back to class.

5. Talk with your family pediatrician — If your child is experiencing physical symptoms, getting a checkup from their pediatrician may help them feel better. If they’ve missed a few days of school, your pediatrician may be willing to write a note explaining that your child has been feeling unwell but that they’re able to return to school with any remaining symptoms.

6. Take one small step at a time — Your child may feel better with some extra time to acclimate to their regular routine again. Explain that you’re going to get ready and drive them to school on the first day, but that they don’t have to go in if they’re not ready. On the second day, they might go to school for a couple of hours or a half day. On the third day, they’ll try staying in school for the entire day, with check-ins from you or their teacher. 

7. Seek mental health treatment — School avoidance is sometimes linked with a diagnosable and treatable mental health condition. If it persists for more than a week or two, seek out an evaluation and see if your child might benefit from outpatient therapy or a more comprehensive treatment program.

What’s the next step for children with school avoidance?

Each child will need a different type of support to overcome fears and anxieties about going to school. When social, emotional or behavioral problems affect a child’s ability to function, there are treatments that can help. Working with an outpatient therapist may help your child learn to regulate their thoughts and feelings more effectively. If they continue to refuse to go to school after trying some different approaches, your child may benefit from a more comprehensive treatment program.

At Embrace U, we provide assessments that can help determine the best course of treatment for your child. We also offer partial hospitalization and intensive outpatient programs that help adolescents and teens improve their mental health. In our day treatment programs, your child will receive group, individual and family therapy. At Embrace U your child will get one-on-one support, and the other children are there to work on their mental health, too. Of course, they’ll be focusing on working through their challenges and learning new ways to manage their thoughts and feelings.

Are you looking for your child’s next step? Give us a call today or contact our team to schedule an initial appointment.